In today’s post I wanted to talk about something that a lot of guys wonder about, how you can take a girl who sees you as “just a friend” and turn her into your loyal, loving girlfriend. This is a situation that I used to get into myself quite often when I was younger, and I was very frustrated about it because I wanted to make my “friend” see me as something more, but I was scared to make a move on her because I was afraid that she’d be like, “What the HELL are you doing?!” and that she’d get mad at me and that it would spoil my chances with her forever.
It got to the point where I was always planning to make my move the next time I saw her, and then when I did see her I’d chicken out and tell myself, “Now’s not a good time, I’ll make my move next time, or on Friday or whatever…” It was a vicious cycle that seemed like it would never end. The worst part was that after a while the girl would always start dating or hooking up with some other dude, and then of course she’d TELL ME all about it, cuz after all we were just “friends” right? And friends tell each other about the people that they are dating and so forth. Man, there is just about nothing worse than having the girl you like tell you about how great some other guy is, how excited she is about him and all that mushy stuff. A lot of times I would actually feel like she was trying to make me jealous or to hurt my feelings. I mean she MUST have known that I saw her as more than “just a friend”, right?
Anyhow, this is a situation that I kept falling into with girl after girl that I met. And it got to the point where I was just sick over what was happening so I decided to try to look at the situation from and objective angle so as to see what was really going on here. Why was I doing this to myself? Why was I self sabotaging myself like this? Did I actually WANT to fail or to be unhappy on some deep subconscious level?
Well, it wasn’t hard to see what I was doing wrong. Basically I was just treating all of these girls that I was meeting in a very nice and platonic way, and never introducing any sort of sexual tension or anything like that. And, as a result every woman I met saw me as just another nice yet boring guy, rather than as a dynamic sexy man who she could possibly date. And, not only did I fail to show anything remotely resembling romantic interest in the beginning when I first met a girl, but I basically just acted like a boring platonic friend to her at all times. I NEVER did anything to make her think that I was interested! How stupid is that?
Once I figured this out I started looking around at other people and seeing what kinds of dating mistakes they were making, and I realized that this is a very common problem for a lot of guys. I think that the real problem is that most of us were never shown the proper way to flirt or show interest in a woman, so we just do nothing and expect her to make some kind of romantic move on us! If you think about it, that is really a ridiculous thing because it goes against a woman’s feminine role. Women don’t like it when men expect them to take the male role in a relationship, and they see that as a real turn off. As men, it is our duty to take the initiative and move things forward romantically with the women that we are interested in. Sure, there is always the chance that she won’t be welcoming to your advances, but this is a risk that we as men must take.
That said, when you learn how to relate to women the right way, as a man, the chance that you will be rejected gets smaller and smaller. Christian’s Girlfriend Activation System is the best resource I have found to learn how to relate to women if you want to get them really into you by using something cool he discovered called her “obsession story”. You can read more about the program in this full review I wrote.
Okay, so far I’ve been talking about how it’s important to express your interest in a woman rather than being her platonic friend, and hoping that she’ll be the one to make the first move, but what should you do if you are ALREADY friends with a girl, and you want to transition into being something more? Well, my first tip would be that you shouldn’t put all your eggs in one basket! While that one girl you are platonically friends with may SEEM like the perfect girl for you, you are a lot better off playing the field a bit and dating a few different women. Not only will this give you more experience, but it will also make you more attractive to that female friend of your that you are crushing on, because it will get her to see you as a “man about town” who has a lot of dating options and guys like that are much more attractive to women than just some dork who is always available to hang out and do “friends” stuff with her.
So definitely date around. Then, it’s also important to start showing your muchacha that you are interested in getting at her in a more physical/romantic sense, rather than just palling around like some harmless asexual buddy or something. There are many ways to do this and I can’t get into all of them here, but definitely start touching her more, giving her more sensual eye contact, and complimenting her on her appearance, teasing her etc… Just be warned that the first time that you start making a move on her, she will probably respond in a way that is not exactly to your liking. She may feel that you were being deceitful in a sense because you have been hanging out with her under the premise that you are just interested in being her friend, when in fat this who time you have just been waiting for a chance to make a romantic move. However, even if she responds badly at first, just remember you still have plenty of time to turn things around now that your feelings are out in the open. Just listen to what Christian has to say in his program, I think you will find it very enlightening!